Funny

[Frank Adam]

So i get this Breitling in for a quote. It's a fake with a broken clasp.

Me <rings shop> : Clasp is broken, being a fake i can't get the same type of
clasp(trifold with spec ends), so will have to fit a different style with
pushers on each side.

an hour later..:
Customer via shop staff: Will it have the Breitling writing on the clasp ?
Me: It's a fake, don't be ridiculous.
Cust/Shop: So it won't ?
Me: He is not worried about the differnet style clasp on his fake, but worried
about the writing ?
Cust/Shop: Yeah. <laugh>
Me: No, it won't have the writing. It is not a Breitling, it shouldn't have
the writing anywhere ! The whole watch shouldn't be !!
Cust/Shop: It's a no go then. He will look for one with Breitling written on
it, otherwise the watch will lose its value..
Me: <After getting up off the floor> No worries, wish him good luck with that
from me.. :)


Ooh wait, i have another one.
Good customer(sort of a non-serious collector) turns up at my place, clutching
a small bim bam striker. Nice looking cute little clock. He bought it from a
"reputable" clock dealer in Oz somewhere, being sold with a full service, but
it's not going. Can i have a look ? Sure..

Let's have a look, it's probably just out of beat or some such. Open the
clock's back, ah hell, it's a floating balance. I really hate floating balance
clocks ! Okay, pallet probably jumped out or bent in transport, no biggie, it
happens to these craps.

Um.. hangon, did you say "serviced" ? I can't see a speck of oil anywhere.
Hangon, the balance is fitted to the wrong side of the front plate and thus
the pallet arm was bent sharply back by the budding clockmaker so it could
meet up with and not foul the roller(note to said clokcmaker: your idea sucked
and didn't work, putting things back where they belong is a much wiser way),
leaving no up down play at all, so there is no way this clock was ever going
in this state.
Hangon, there are also worn bushes here. "Serviced" you said ?
Hangon, the time side barrel wobbles all over the place. "serviced" right ?
Hangon, the balance wire is in fact worn out as well, you can feel the groove
in the wire as you move the balance up and down.
Oh and the strike doesn't work at all, as the top end wheels are frozen up. No
doubt due to the service havign been done.
The bim bam is a boing boing because the bells are assembled incorrectly so
they can't resonate. Might as well be one bell there, soldered to the plate.
Better take those bells off now to see more.
Ahhh that's nice, he or some like minded person used a rasp to hack the tops
of the bushes off on the time side, giving no regard to the plate, which being
a patterned one is now fucked as far as aesthetics go. Luckily, he only did
this where the bells were covering it, so maybe he did have some conscience
after all. <rolls eyes>

4 hours work later.. 7 plate bushes, 2 barrel bushes, new float wire,
separators for the bell(and fitting 2 more pins for the dial, since if there
are 4 legs, why not use more than two) and the clock is ticking and striking.
Maybe i'll "service" it too one day.. ;)
God i'd like to get my hands on this guy. Although my customer is more than
able to cause serious damage to a person and he is not a happy puppy..
Online trade, you gotta love it.

Yeah, yeah, it's a bit slow and i'm bored. And this place needed a new post
anyway. ;-)

[dAz]

Post by Frank Adam
Cust/Shop: It's a no go then. He will look for one with Breitling written on
it, otherwise the watch will lose its value..

bwahahhaahahahahaaaa!!!!!!! :)

thanks Frank, I needed a good laugh.

[trowel]

Post by Frank Adam
So i get this Breitling in for a quote. It's a fake with a broken clasp.
Me <rings shop> : Clasp is broken, being a fake i can't get the same type of
clasp(trifold with spec ends), so will have to fit a different style with
pushers on each side.
Customer via shop staff: Will it have the Breitling writing on the clasp ?
Me: It's a fake, don't be ridiculous.
Cust/Shop: So it won't ?
Me: He is not worried about the differnet style clasp on his fake, but worried
about the writing ?
Cust/Shop: Yeah. <laugh>  
Me: No, it won't have the writing. It is not a Breitling, it shouldn't have
the writing anywhere ! The whole watch shouldn't be !!
Cust/Shop: It's a no go then. He will look for one with Breitling written on
it, otherwise the watch will lose its value..
Me: <After getting up off the floor> No worries, wish him good luck with that
from me.. :)    
Ooh wait, i have another one.
Good customer(sort of a non-serious collector) turns up at my place, clutching
a small bim bam striker. Nice looking cute little clock. He bought it from a
"reputable" clock dealer in Oz somewhere, being sold with a full service, but
it's not going. Can i have a look ?  Sure..
Let's have a look, it's probably just out of beat or some such. Open the
clock's back, ah hell, it's a floating balance. I really hate floating balance
clocks ! Okay, pallet probably jumped out or bent in transport, no biggie, it
happens to these craps.
Um.. hangon, did you say "serviced" ? I can't see a speck of oil anywhere.
Hangon, the balance is fitted to the wrong side of the front plate and thus
the pallet arm was bent sharply back by the budding clockmaker so it could
meet up with and not foul the roller(note to said clokcmaker: your idea sucked
and didn't work, putting things back where they belong is a much wiser way),
leaving no up down play at all, so there is no way this clock was ever going
in this state.
Hangon, there are also worn bushes here. "Serviced" you said ?
Hangon, the time side barrel wobbles all over the place. "serviced" right ?
Hangon, the balance wire is in fact worn out as well, you can feel the groove
in the wire as you move the balance up and down.
Oh and the strike doesn't work at all, as the top end wheels are frozen up. No
doubt due to the service havign been done.
The bim bam is a boing boing because the bells are assembled incorrectly so
they can't resonate. Might as well be one bell there, soldered to the plate.
Better take those bells off now to see more.
Ahhh that's nice, he or some like minded person used a rasp to hack the tops
of the bushes off on the time side, giving no regard to the plate, which being
a patterned one is now fucked as far as aesthetics go. Luckily, he only did
this where the bells were covering it, so maybe he did have some conscience
after all. <rolls eyes>
4 hours work later.. 7 plate bushes, 2 barrel bushes, new float wire,
separators for the bell(and fitting 2 more pins for the dial, since if there
are 4 legs, why not use more than two) and the clock is ticking and striking.
Maybe i'll "service" it too one day.. ;)  
God i'd like to get my hands on this guy. Although my customer is more than
able to cause serious damage to a person and he is not a happy puppy..
Online trade, you gotta love it.  
Yeah, yeah, it's a bit slow and i'm bored. And this place needed a new post
anyway. ;-)
--
Regards, Frank

Frank you are a very patient man .I would hand back the clock and ask
the person to return it to the previ ous ???????? as life is too short
&there are too many worthwhile clocks to mend. Floating balences are
my pet hatred too.Cheers Johnmaka

[dAz]

Post by trowel
Frank you are a very patient man .I would hand back the clock and ask
the person to return it to the previ ous ???????? as life is too short
&there are too many worthwhile clocks to mend. Floating balences are
my pet hatred too.Cheers Johnmaka

floating balances are fine, they do go for years without problems, that
only comes because of idiots who have no understanding of how they are
supposed to work, putting oil where it's not meant to be and so on.

[Frank Adam]

Post by dAz

Post by trowel
Frank you are a very patient man .I would hand back the clock and ask
the person to return it to the previ ous ???????? as life is too short
&there are too many worthwhile clocks to mend. Floating balences are
my pet hatred too.Cheers Johnmaka

floating balances are fine, they do go for years without problems, that
only comes because of idiots who have no understanding of how they are
supposed to work, putting oil where it's not meant to be and so on.

You know, as dry as the plate holes were, the balance was certainly oiled.
I still don't like them though. They are an abomination, just as any balance
driven large clock is. They are evil, i tell you ! :)

ps: It's not a matter of patience. This is a good customer of mine and it is
certainly worth my time so he can enjoy his clock. I've only charged him trade
price, but it will keep my beer box happy for a week or two, so time well
spent. :)

Which reminds me.. aka, message from the 'wise' one;

Warning, non-watchmakers may find this confusing. :)
Say you have a mid 1700s English verge pocket watch with a broken click in the
fusee cone. Ratchet teeth also in need of a touch up. Fiddly job, dammit.
You already have it apart, so may as well clean it. Then decide to make the
click tomorrow and rather knock over 2-3 bread and butter stuff before end of
day.
So you carefully unpack the cleaning basket into a box, making sure all parts,
wheels, screws, etc.. are accounted for. Then you spend the next 5 minutes
searching for the <cough>pallet fork. On the bench, on the path between the
bench and the cleaning machine. No cigar.. WTF !? Finally, you sigh, go for
the broom to start sweeping and just then, you come to realise something very,
very disturbing, which suggests that perhaps you should not even be doing this
watchmaking thing for a job.

That's when you should turn the lights out and go inside for a beer or six and
take the rest of the day off. I definitely would, but the above shit could
never happen to me. I'm a professional after all ! ;-)

[dAz]

Post by Frank Adam

Post by dAz

Post by trowel
Frank you are a very patient man .I would hand back the clock and ask
the person to return it to the previ ous ???????? as life is too short
&there are too many worthwhile clocks to mend. Floating balences are
my pet hatred too.Cheers Johnmaka

floating balances are fine, they do go for years without problems, that
only comes because of idiots who have no understanding of how they are
supposed to work, putting oil where it's not meant to be and so on.

You know, as dry as the plate holes were, the balance was certainly oiled.
I still don't like them though. They are an abomination, just as any balance
driven large clock is. They are evil, i tell you ! :)

:)

Post by Frank Adam
ps: It's not a matter of patience. This is a good customer of mine and it is
certainly worth my time so he can enjoy his clock. I've only charged him trade
price, but it will keep my beer box happy for a week or two, so time well
spent. :)

well and truly worth it for the beer.

Post by Frank Adam
Which reminds me.. aka, message from the 'wise' one;
Warning, non-watchmakers may find this confusing. :)
Say you have a mid 1700s English verge pocket watch with a broken click in the
fusee cone. Ratchet teeth also in need of a touch up. Fiddly job, dammit.
You already have it apart, so may as well clean it. Then decide to make the
click tomorrow and rather knock over 2-3 bread and butter stuff before end of
day.
So you carefully unpack the cleaning basket into a box, making sure all parts,
wheels, screws, etc.. are accounted for. Then you spend the next 5 minutes
searching for the<cough>pallet fork. On the bench, on the path between the
bench and the cleaning machine. No cigar.. WTF !? Finally, you sigh, go for
the broom to start sweeping and just then, you come to realise something very,
very disturbing, which suggests that perhaps you should not even be doing this
watchmaking thing for a job.

yes some days I have wondered the same thing, I am still looking for the
customers name tag from a wall clock that disappeared between the front
door and the workshop, guess I will have to wait for the customer to
ring me grrr!.

Post by Frank Adam
That's when you should turn the lights out and go inside for a beer or six and
take the rest of the day off. I definitely would, but the above shit could
never happen to me. I'm a professional after all ! ;-)

no, only a couple of times a year ;)

[Frank Adam]

Post by dAz

Post by Frank Adam

Post by dAz

Post by trowel
Frank you are a very patient man .I would hand back the clock and ask
the person to return it to the previ ous ???????? as life is too short
&there are too many worthwhile clocks to mend. Floating balences are
my pet hatred too.Cheers Johnmaka

floating balances are fine, they do go for years without problems, that
only comes because of idiots who have no understanding of how they are
supposed to work, putting oil where it's not meant to be and so on.

You know, as dry as the plate holes were, the balance was certainly oiled.
I still don't like them though. They are an abomination, just as any balance
driven large clock is. They are evil, i tell you ! :)

:)

Post by Frank Adam
ps: It's not a matter of patience. This is a good customer of mine and it is
certainly worth my time so he can enjoy his clock. I've only charged him trade
price, but it will keep my beer box happy for a week or two, so time well
spent. :)

well and truly worth it for the beer.

Post by Frank Adam
Which reminds me.. aka, message from the 'wise' one;
Warning, non-watchmakers may find this confusing. :)
Say you have a mid 1700s English verge pocket watch with a broken click in the
fusee cone. Ratchet teeth also in need of a touch up. Fiddly job, dammit.
You already have it apart, so may as well clean it. Then decide to make the
click tomorrow and rather knock over 2-3 bread and butter stuff before end of
day.
So you carefully unpack the cleaning basket into a box, making sure all parts,
wheels, screws, etc.. are accounted for. Then you spend the next 5 minutes
searching for the<cough>pallet fork. On the bench, on the path between the
bench and the cleaning machine. No cigar.. WTF !? Finally, you sigh, go for
the broom to start sweeping and just then, you come to realise something very,
very disturbing, which suggests that perhaps you should not even be doing this
watchmaking thing for a job.

yes some days I have wondered the same thing, I am still looking for the
customers name tag from a wall clock that disappeared between the front
door and the workshop, guess I will have to wait for the customer to
ring me grrr!.

Well yeah we all lose things, but did you miss the subtle bit up there about a
"pallet fork" and a verge escapement ?

For the uninitiated, they don't actually have a pallet fork. :)
What we could call a pallet is part of the balance wheel's arbor, so i've
basically spent a bit of time looking for a non existent part, or a pink
elephant. Not sure now.

[dAz]

Post by Frank Adam
Well yeah we all lose things, but did you miss the subtle bit up there about a
"pallet fork" and a verge escapement ?

yes I did actually, but then I already had some of those beers :)

Post by Frank Adam
For the uninitiated, they don't actually have a pallet fork. :)
What we could call a pallet is part of the balance wheel's arbor, so i've
basically spent a bit of time looking for a non existent part, or a pink
elephant. Not sure now.

well the real trick is not to sniff the shelite during the day. ;)

thats ok, I repaired an Ergas swiss made table clock, nice little piece,
has a 11 jewel escapement with a electric motor to wind the spring every
2 hours, I had to repivot the escape wheel, found a good use for that
box of spare cylinder plugs, the pivot was 0.15mm, I also had to rebuild
the commutator of the motor, after doing that I could not work out why
the motor would not wind the mainspring, I got two of the gears around
the wrong way, only took me 2 days to work that out, problem was the 3
gears can go on in several different configurations, anyway it works now

this clock has a full calendar showing month, day and date on four disks
behind the dial and flips over each day, very nice hi quality piece, the
brass case weighs in at 2kg , Ergas made these clocks for companies like
Tiffany, this particular clock was in the scrap bin at the local metal
recyclers so it was lucky a friend of mine spotted it and gave it to me.